e.g., "I convinced myself his jealousy was just passion" or "She said she wasn't ready for a label... for 3 years"

e.g., My love life isn't a relationship; it's a warning label.

Red Flag Collectors

e.g., The time I saw the red flags and went on parade with them

e.g., The time I became his unpaid therapist, life coach, and hype man all at once

e.g., My only payment was exposure to his unresolved trauma.

Narcissist Magnets

e.g., Free Therapy Session (His Ex Was the Client)

Mad Hatter Catchers

e.g., The time I picked a fight just to experience the passion of the make-up sex

e.g., The only thing that got made up was a new reason to be single.

Love-Drama Junkies

e.g., Started a Fight Just to Feel Something

e.g., "I let him borrow my car, my Netflix, and my emotional energy for 6 months"

e.g., I didn't lose a boyfriend; I gained a dependent.

Boundaries Blurrers

e.g., The Time I Let Him Move In After 2 Weeks

e.g., The vacation we planned after 2 weeks because "when you know, you know" (we didn't know)

e.g., We didn't break up; our mutual breakdown finally scheduled a time.

Trauma Bonders

e.g., Our Trauma Was the Third Wheel

Project Specialists

e.g., The time I waited 4 days to reply to a text to seem "chill" and had an aneurysm

e.g., I was so chill I was practically medically deceased.

Mixed Signals Experts

e.g., The 4-Day Reply That Almost Killed Me

e.g., The 5th time I took him back after he "accidentally" texted me thinking I was someone else

e.g., I'm not desperate; I'm just committed to the bit.

Ex-Partner Recyclers

e.g., Take 7: This Time Will Be Different

In college, I dated two women: one **stable but boring**, the other **exciting but crazy**. I picked the crazy one.
Twenty years later, I bumped into both.
The Stable One: Married with two kids. "Had I stayed with you," I said, "I'd have a family... and be bored."
The Crazy One: Thrice-divorced with three kids. "Had I married you," I said, "you'd be *four-times divorced.*"
She shrugged. "Yeah, but you wouldn't be bored."

Own your mess. Reframe it. Laugh at yourself.

The 20-year test